As a Sudanese woman born in Diaspora, I feel that I have always had to try extra hard to find out who I am exactly. When I was a child I had thousands of questions that I would ask my grandparents, aunts and uncles about where I come from, and my family tree. I had cousins who did not know the answers to these questions, and never cared to ask. I understand now that it is because they already lived in Sudan, and did not need to question their identity the way I did living abroad.

Currently, most of my family is displaced, some in neighboring countries, and the rest within Sudan. The ones who are displaced within Sudan are about to be displaced for a second time. I also have family in Sudan who are still in Khartoum and trying to find a way out. My aunt’s home has been occupied by the RSF. This has impacted my mental health. I have not visited Sudan since 2016 when my grandmother passed away and I regret it. When this war ends, and I go back to visit, what will I be coming home to? Will the RSF have occupied my grandparents’ homes too? Will they be demolished? Will our safety be guaranteed?

Author: Saja

Photo Credit: newarab.com